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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Brig

If you're a fan of "The Deadliest Catch" or the other shows set at Dutch Harbor, AK you might enjoy a peek into the calls handled by the Unalaksa police force.  The police officer who writes up the reports has an incredible sense of humor.  She cracks me up every time I read The Dutch Harbor Blotter.

Here's a sample of what's been going on in the Frozen Wild West the last couple months:

Theft, Jan. 5 — A commercial diver, while raising a sunken vessel, discovered numerous tools that had apparently been stolen from a local business. Under investigation.

Suspicious activity, Jan. 7 — Homeowner reported someone had gone to quite a bit of trouble to shovel a path to his shed and his absent neighbor’s home. Nothing had been burglarized, but the homeowner was concerned that the paths might be the first step towards the commission of a crime. It was later discovered that the U.S. Coast Guard had been shoveling snow for the local elders.

Motor vehicle accident with damage, Jan. 10 — A parked and unoccupied vehicle struck another parked and unoccupied vehicle after being blown across an icy dock by a strong gust of wind. Damage to the two vehicles was significant.

Roads, Jan. 23 — Buoy in the middle of the roadway.

Animal, Jan. 24 — An exasperated, exhausted immature eagle which had entrapped itself inside a crab pot was able to fly to safety after an officer climbed a stack of crab pots and cut a raptor-sized hole in the netting.

Assistance rendered, Jan. 26 — Officer observed an agitated man haranguing PenAir employees about not being allowed on the most recent departing flight, and advised him that yelling at the employees of the only passenger airline servicing the terminal might make his departure from Dutch Harbor a bit more difficult.

Public safety, Feb. 1 — A man who was peeved about the amount of snow pushed against his home by road crews vented his frustration by rolling large snow boulders into the roadway. An officer advised against this course of action and helped the perturbed citizen remove said boulders from the road.

Assistance rendered, Feb. 8 — Officer presence was requested while a man was terminated from his place of employment, due to concerns about the number of firearms in the employee's possession and his likely response to the loss of his job.

Ambulance request, Feb. 10, 2115 hours — EMS personnel provided care and transport for a woman with an injured elbow.

Ambulance request, Feb. 10, 2210 hours — EMS personnel provided care and transport for a man who'd been hit in the head with an elbow.

Ambulance request, Feb. 14 — EMS volunteers provided care for individual who had four fingers amputated while out fishing.

Traffic, Feb. 18 — Rotund rock reported relaxing in road.

Assistance rendered, Feb. 24 — Officers responded to the airport regarding a report of a drunken man causing numerous problems in the terminal. Investigation revealed that a single besotted man had roundly cursed airline employees and attempted to pick fights with no less than five people. His last victim, who told officers he was performing a community service, smacked the drunk on the head and then stood over him and told him not to be so rude. None of the victims wished to pursue charges, as they all felt justice had already been served.

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